Friday, June 10, 2011


To the tune of “The Cat Came Back” from the Muppet Show.

Annnnnd the minutes came back, they couldn’t stay away, they put all at the meeting, asleep the same way.

It was a hot night and I was in a tuxedo for a Fellowcraft degree. Traffic was horrible so the 5 minute ride to lodge turned into 30. In utter desperation I indulged in a pre lodge cigar in my truck while sitting on the connector not moving. I arrived at lodge to find the three entered apprentices feverishly trying to learn their proficiency before the degree with an old Past Master. Then I realized why they were feverish, it was HOT in the building! This was the norm at our old unconditioned building... but we had moved. Our new abode was fully equipped to keep the Brothers cool when needed, but what was going on? After a few conversations with those that were present at the time, I came to find out that the fancy touch screen thermostats that controlled the HVAC unit were locked out to all users and….ON HEAT MODE! There were calls in to the guys that ran the building and no matter how hard we all tried to touch multiple spots on the screen, take the batteries out, etc. we could not unlock the screen. As the Brethren began to show up one by one the desperation mounted. There were a few “I thought this was one of the reasons we moved here…heh heh” muttered, yet we trudged on regardless.

Finally one of the Brothers from the building corporation showed up, but he too could not unlock the darn control screen, so he called the HVAC company that took care of the system and they were on their way. We waited and waited and finally the WM made the call to go ahead and start the meeting as we had a long night ahead of us as the 2nd degree is one of the longest with the massive mother of all lectures smack dab in the middle of it, so some took off their jackets and we proceeded to open. Right at the point when the Junior Deacon proceeds to the preparation room to find the Brothers awaiting the degree he was met at the door of the lodge by the an HVAC technician ready to solve the heat problem. It was good timing too because our Tyler was tyling from within as is his custom and the HVAC tech was about to come in on his own! The lodge was put at ease and the guy hit a few buttons and the cold air was upon us at last. The degree was a little shaky but the Middle Chamber was again brilliantly and profoundly delivered by our young Junior Deacon who has been a shining light in the lodge.

It was very late when the degree finally ended and the WM proceeded to conduct the business of the lodge in a timely fashion. There was nothing in the West, nothing in the South, and a few things on the secretary’s desk to discuss which were hastily dealt with then the Secretary announced that he had the minutes from the last meeting and the WM asked that he read them! Oh No! Not again. Over two years ago in a previous administration the minutes were available for those interested but… on their own time and like that, nap time was removed from lodge and we lived happily ever after… well not ever. Like an old hot dog returning from today’s lunch, the minutes came back and you could see the tortured look on the faces of the newer Brethren, many of which had never had to endure the boredom and monotony of a droning minute reading before. It was like NyQuil, guaranteed to put you to sleep and to many it did. Like that pesky old cat on the Muppet Show; we had driven the minutes out of town and left them in the woods but…..

Everyone together!

Buuuuuuut, the minutes came back, they couldn’t stay away, they put all at the meeting, asleep the same way!

1 comment:

Chris said...

In English Masonic lodges, the Fellowcraft degree is the shortest one.

As for minutes, our Secretary sends them out by e-mail, or by snail mail to those who haven't entered the 20th Century, and we simply ask for confirmation that what we've already read is a true record of the last meeting. Simple.

W.Bro. Chris Hansen, WM
Goliath Lodge #5595, UGLE